An Unlikely Conversation that Changed My Perspective on Death
A few months ago, I stumbled upon an article that changed how I look at life—and death. Navigating Your Nervous System Through Horror Movies, written by Margaret Bell, a skilled thanatologist, counsellor, and horror enthusiast, caught my attention. Margaret’s insights into how horror media helps us process trauma resonated with me deeply. I reached out to her, and that conversation led us to unexpected places, ones that have given me comfort and clarity in areas I’d previously kept in the shadows.
As someone who has experienced death’s presence closely, in my own body, through close friends and family but most recently through my husband’s recent health struggles, to put it nicely, I’ve often found myself circling around death as a concept without knowing how to fully engage with it. Yet, my talks with Margaret, who works with people to help them make peace with life’s end, have profoundly shifted how I view this inescapable part of life.
Why We All Need a Guide Through Life’s End Stages
Death, as a topic, is uncomfortable in most cultures. We’re rarely taught to engage with it until it touches our lives directly, usually in challenging ways. Meeting Margaret regularly is helping me understand the value of a guide—a Thanatologist—to help make sense of death, loss, and what legacy really means in this context.
One of the most impactful things I have learned from Margaret so far is the latter, that is, the importance of creating a personal “legacy” and understanding its value not only for the one who is nearing death but also for those left behind.
After this first episode with Margaret, I had a conversation with my mother and put into practice this open conversation about death that brought an unexpected comfort and a sense of closure that felt surprisingly light. Our conversation ranged from her wishes for a final resting place to her thoughts on the afterlife. Instead of sadness, we found joy and even humour in discussing what she wanted and not, and it helped us both find peace in accepting this inevitable part of life.
The Healing Power of Horror
One unique aspect of Margaret’s work is her use of horror as a therapeutic tool. As odd as it may sound, horror provides a space where people can explore intense feelings in a controlled, safe way. I’ll admit, at first, I was sceptical—why introduce fear into an already difficult conversation?
But through Margaret’s lens, in this first interview, I began to see how engaging with horror can help us confront emotions that are otherwise difficult to access. Studies support this too, suggesting that facing fear safely can make us feel more empowered and in control when dealing with real-life challenges. For some, horror can be a unique gateway to understanding life’s darker themes, including death.
This has also influenced my love of Gothic literature and horror. Now, I see these genres not just as entertainment, but as reflections of humans' deepest fears, helping us understand the shadow side of ourselves.
Transforming My Relationship with Death
In these discussions, I learned that embracing death, even talking openly about it, can lead to profound inner peace. This work, often called “Shadow Work” by those who follow Carl Jung’s teachings, involves facing our hidden fears to better understand and integrate them. Shadow Work offers a new path toward understanding the repressed, suppressed and silenced parts of us and that we are afraid to set free and what death truly means.
Talking with Margaret is allowing me to confront many of my inner monsters about loss and mortality. It is teaching me that accepting death doesn’t diminish life but, rather, gives it depth and meaning. I now look at the concept of death as an integral part of life, one that should be approached not with dread but with curiosity and respect.
A Continuing Exploration: Death, Grief, and Growth
Margaret and I have begun recording video podcasts that explore these ideas further. Our next episode dives into what we call “little deaths”—the smaller endings we experience in life, like the post-Halloween transition or the close of each holiday season. These seemingly minor moments are often laced with nostalgia and a sense of loss, and we can learn a lot from honouring them.
If you’re interested in delving into these topics—death, life cycles, grief, or even how horror can be a tool for growth—I invite you to watch our first video podcast and to leave a comment so we can explore these themes together and also create new content that resonates with you.
Closing Thoughts: An Invitation to Reflect on Life’s Darker, Richer Side
Death is a topic we’re all familiar with but rarely discuss openly. If there’s one thing I hope you take away today, is that engaging with this subject—especially with guidance from a compassionate, knowledgeable counsellor—can create inner peace and acceptance.
If you’re drawn to these themes, whether in Gothic literature, life’s cycles, or the healing power of horror, we’d love to connect. There’s always more to explore, and I’m eager to see where this journey takes us.
Thank you for reading, and let’s keep the conversation going.
Let’s Connect
If you liked this article subscribe to my free monthly newsletter so you don't miss a thing.
Комментарии